Today I will become a better actress and dancer

Today when I took off for school, I said to myself - today I will become a better dancer and actor. I had 3 dance classes and a Meisner class. I promised myself that no matter what, I would bring forward my best and work to become better and impress myself and my teachers in every class.

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I took an extra class in my old D4 class today in ballet. Meaning after ballet, jazz and tap I took another ballet class.
My teacher singled me out to do the pirouette-combination in front of everyone. He wanted to show me off, and then he told everyone how prod he was of my work. How much harder I work than all of them.. and I got moved down a set from their class. He said, it doesn't matter what level you are in, it's about the work you do and how much you grow - that's real talent, he said.

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In Meisner class I did an amazing scene, and I will probably say that in this scene I did with my class mate, was the Meisner work I have been most unfearful about. I have never seen myself being able to express my feelings on such a wide range, and man it felt good!

Knowing I am more than a 4th into the programme, is kind of freaking me out. I want to be so good and ready to be in the industry. That is our dance teachers goal too, he always speaks about how he wants to bring us ahead of other people in this career. I am so anxious I will grow in time. This is it.
But I choose to trust how proud he is of my work, saying I am one of the best dancers he's seen at the school. I must learn to trust all my professional teachers, and not the instincts that I have now.

Our jazz teacher also talked about how we should be one step ahead in our process as dancers now. We should be smart dancers - knowing what things we need to work on and what the technique is.. not just getting the steps right, and trying to look pretty.

Our assignment for ballet is to find what character from 'A Chorus line' we would audition for, and then bring in a song we would sing for that. We need to be clear about everything about the play and staged version and know the full score.
I am very excited about this. Our goal is to find someone we truly fit into and trust that we could get that part. I know that most of us don't think we're good enough to be in something like A chorus line.... but our teacher says we should trust that we could do anything.. that's how you keep working in this business.. not by getting out there and having a single strength and dream about playing Elphaba.

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I cry a lot these days - of overwhelmingness. Because I see a ballet or listen to the soundtrack of Cats, and it makes me overwhelmed because I want it so much.
Dancing has become a rush for me, that I need to have every single day. Kind of like the drug that keeps me happy and alive.
It's like being in love.

Being in love with your art.

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What I loved most about walking home today is that I could tell myself, today I truly became a better actress and dancer!