Becoming a prima ballerina

Today I woke up 4:45. Strange. It's happened before.. but then I'd either make a loud cry or sigh for waking up that early, or I'd bless that I had a couple of more hours to sleep.
Today I didn't even look at the time. I just got up and started dancing. Only later did I notice how early I'd gotten up that morning.

I stretched, did ballet exercises, sprinted on the treadmill and went through my choreography for the audition. It was all about that audition today.
I got up thinking, I need to do my best - I hope I get that job.. and there wasn't even a job to get ;) .. it was just a regular ballet class, but I was stretching and focusing and looking forward to it, like it was.

And that's what's important. Always to do it 10 out of 10 and put yourself into it fully.
And I had a full breakfast, made time to look my best and pack a great lunch.

*

In class Chad said to everyone, that he was in a very good mood, because one of his old students just got a dance job and that Jasmin was becoming one of the best dancers he's ever seen at this school.
I cried happy tears silently from where I was standing at the ballet bar, in the back of the room.

Our audition did all together not go well. Apparently, for everyone, the choreography had not been picked up correctly.
I had the time of my life doing those steps, - but even so I was aware of it. To me, for the performance, it didn't matter - because I'd created a story to tell. But I knew that even though I had all this in my performance, it wasn't enough to get me the job. .. But that's what you learn from the first round.

My ballet teacher gave a long speech about how we should have higher expectations to ourselves and work hard! He pointed his finger at me and said: "This one!.. She got moved DOWN a class in dance, and NOT for a minute did she feel sorry for herself. She has been to all the classes I teach every week since. You want to know how hard I was on her the first semester? You want to know how many times she's cried in my class? You bet I've counted them.. but not ONCE did she feel sorry for herself, because she knew she just had to work harder. No one should think they've worked hard enough if they don't do half of the work she does!"
And even though I didn't get the job, he blinked at me and said: "That was wonderful, Jasmin".
From this moment, this ever so happy day was emphasized as much as it could probably get.

After class some people from my old D4 class came up to me and said how he'd been glorifying me and telling them how much I'd grown.

I am so happy.
I love dancing.
And I love finally becoming a dancer.

Now off to run, sing through my performance for tomorrow's class , do more ballet of course - because I can't resist, speed run the actor's vow, watch some of the ballet dvd's I got from the library and... who knows? ;)