Something beautiful I have discovered is the very intense
and profound relationships I have found in so many friends over this past year.
These have been unusual friends. I have found a skill of knowing almost in an
instant when I see a really big heart. Most importantly, when I see a heart
that speaks to me in some special way. Friends in all sizes and ages that I
come to love on such a profound level, it is almost not understandable.
Sometimes it leads me to think I am in love with them, because their heart
gives my soul butterflies, and their presence is so powerful. It’s always women
who fascinate me like this, and in some ways they inspire or speak to me in
ways of a mentor, role model, best friend, or healer. In some way there have
been a row of beautiful women who have made such a beautiful impact on me. This
is why such an intense flood of emotion for them intimidated me and confused me
for long, because I sometimes thought it must be romantic, because anything
above friendship must be romance, right?
But then I found myself be very wrong! See… what is above
any regular friendship or relationship or family is God’s work through us.
God’s presence through other people. Such a strong feeling of love – when it’s
not a physical attraction, but an attraction to the soul is – what I found,
because I can’t possibly think of another reason – an attraction to the holy
spirit in another human being. Now that I look back on all the great
friendships I’ve had like these, they were all so strongly connected to my spiritual
growth. Whether it was a mentor through troubled times – which is when God is
especially near and loud to me, or a friend of faith who shared experiences and
inspired me with her growth, or a friend I inspired by my faith and helped find
Jesus.. they ALL have one thing in common. - There was a strong presence of the
Holy Spirit.
THAT is why I was so overwhelmed. THAT is why with some of
my friends I thought I would want them as partners for life. THAT is why our
friendship would grow on levels I had never even thought possible.
- Because when you feel the presence of the Holy Spirit, it
is enough. It’s all you need. You feel so happy and inspired to overflowing.
THAT is why at times I resent the other friend in brief
moments, when the Holy Spirit isn’t present or clear enough. THAT is why my
expectations of the friendship sometimes overflows. – Because the intensity and
love grew from feeling the presence of the Holy Spirit first, and therefore I
have learned to expect it all the time, without fully understanding it.
But it’s all coming back to me now – I was feeling the Holy
Spirit through people and saw how God worked in their lives, and me affected by
it. I experienced love on such a profound level, I keep thanking God and being
amazed by the fantastically beautiful people I seem to meet, one right after
the other … it blows my mind.
There are so many fantastic human beings I have encountered
such tender friendships with: Susan, Kerrie, Mary-Anne, Allisun, Anna, Lisa,
Jody.
All ages from 20-54, and one friendship is as different as
the other and have been for a short period of time, or a long term friendship…
they all have one thing in common, God was working through them to bless me.
And you know what? As much as I believe till my dying day
that the Holy Spirit is working in everyone, I think it is a rare gift to be
able to connect on that heavenly level. It’s not everyone who finds or can
distinguish this, or is even open to go on a deeper level.
It’s a friendship that feels like an unconditional love most
days – just like we know God loves us unconditionally. I believe it is a gift
that we find friends we wish to heal and love as unconditionally as we possibly
can. Without saying that is even close to possible, in the same way as God, the
fact that we have friends we strive to do this for, whilst feeling the same way
in return, is quite the gift from God.
And you know.. as I think about this special gift .. I think
that it might not only be the friends I’ve come across so unexpectedly that
have had the Holy Spirit, maybe it’s my gift. Maybe I one of my spiritual gifts
is showing love or creating friendships on such deep levels that blow people’s
minds.
Interestingly, one day, when Allisun was visiting in my
room, I was grieving my best friend Kerrie having left, and I explained to her
that there was just this magic thing about me and Kerrie when we were together.
That Kerrie had this essence that awoke my soul in ways I couldn’t even
explain. The level of soul connection blew my mind. And to my surprise Allisun
replied, “-You know, you have that too.. This special thing. You have an
essence that is so magic, this profound level of connection that entices and
make people fall in love with your soul.”
Maybe I have that special thing. I’d never thought about it
in that way. Until again, yesterday as I was having lunch with my friend Alice,
and without actually remembering what I’d said in the conversation Alice broke
it off by crying, “Omg, YOU are AMAZING!”. And I looked confused, by this
coming out of nowhere, whilst Alice was trying to figure out how to explain her
statement.. she just kept saying, “What you say is so unique and profound, no
matter what people say you always have a ready answer that is so beautiful.”
This was such a beautiful compliment, and I think back on it when I try to
understand my calling.
Today I truly did think that my gift, and part of my calling
is helping people. Whether it’s through storytelling or something else, I don’t
know. .. but I think I have a tenderness I bring into the room, a grace, that
is rare. And I am SO endlessly thankful for that gift. How extraordinary.
And then to be called Queen by God. It BLOWS my mind!
You are loved
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