Thursday the 26th

I woke up today very cold. It's difficult to get out of bed. I have my cup of tea and read half an hour in the bible.

My first class that morning was jazz, then ballet. I had good fun in jazz, and I'm feeling less and less pressure. Today the teacher told me: "Jasmin. CONFIDENCE."
And I know I need to work on that in dance, that's the only thing missing.
My body doesn't look like it's built for looking goofy. I know that it can do beautiful things.

I was very exhausted after both the jazz and ballet class, and we had no breaks in between. My muscles are still aching from it, even though I stretched out properly. It's like I worked very hard today, almost exploding my muscles! But I know that doesn't happen like that, so they are just tired and need rest.

In showcase practicum today we had to present our homework, which was to choose a song by the composer/lyricist we're working with at the moment; Ahrens & Flarity.
They wrote Once on this Island, Ragtime, The glorious ones, Lucky stiff and many more. Most of them which I didn't know before, so it was interesting to spread my repertoire a bit. However, I chose Journey to the past from Anastasia - which always has been one of my favorite animated movies.

We looked at the next song 'The sound of music', a beautiful song! I've already had the score from The Sound of Music stuck in my head, since yesterday, when we all performed 'My favorite things' in our Voice studio class.

When we had a small break I couldn't help singing the song out loud. Especially the most beautiful part, the high notes by the end of each line: "the hills are aloud with the sound of music - a-a-a-ah!".
And later, after the break the teacher gave us different parts to sing, 3 people on each voice. And then she wanted me to sing the "a-a-a-ah!".

I couldn't help but give myself a big proud smile on the inside, because I knew she gave me that voice because she'd heard me.

This is what happens in real life. If you share and sing out loud, in stead of keeping it to yourself, you don't get heard.
At an audition, yes you do. But when you walk down the street, you never know if there's a composer walking near you. Just like when you are at an audition for the ensemble - because the main character's were taken, if you give them MUCH more than what they ask for and what they expect - you might be remembered for another great part.
And this happens all the time. The teacher tell us that too.
It's about luck sometimes. But mostly about working hard.

The other day on the street I was singing Phantom of the Opera to myself, and this man walking in front of me took out one of his earphones to listen to me. I couldn't help but turn up the volume, he might have been someone looking for a new perfect Christine, you never know ;)

And sitting in the classroom today - I felt so proud inside, because I thought about how I was a couple of years back.
I would never had dared to sing aloud. I would always be scared to be heard. But that has changed so much.
And you bet I'm moving ahead to being heard big time! ;)

Our teacher in Showcase practicum took a long time explaining to us that we would need to learn how we recharge after the long week. Meaning; being under so much pressure physically and emotionally, we need to give us time to rest and find peace in ourselves - so we don't break down, loose control or get stressed.
It could be sitting in a corner with music in our ears after class, taking a nap, sitting in a park.. whatever helps us.

Right now I am sitting in the student's lounge, trying to isolate myself from the rush of the day. Some rest and food does good, and I just noticed that people around me are extremely loud - but I didn't notice until now.. so that's a strength I know will be good to have in these two years.

Right now I am done with resting (well not saying I couldn't need more!). But I need to go practise a song, I have to sing solo in 15 minutes. After that it's music theory!
And theeeen dinner!

I wish you a good night's sleep - knowing a lot of you are probably on your way to bed, or already sleeping.

Sweet dreams. X