The end of 1st semester, craving for holiday!

One thing I have acknowledged about living in NYC, that I don't like is that I have to get used to seeing rats everyday. Makes me whine and slightly die inside, when I see a huge grey rat with its big fat tail running on the tracks on the subway station. funny, i still take 10 steps back, almost falling down the tracks on the opposite side, thinking the rat will jump up on me.

I am sitting in the subway, almost falling asleep over my computer. it's only a quarter to 7, but i was up at 6 am this morning, slept 6 hours. a lot of 6'es. i am going to  play tonight, that jessica, my neighbor at the markle got free tickets for. usual night, i am going to rush to the dining room, to refill my body with energy, as fast as i can, before the schedule keeps on rolling under my feet. when i come home tonight, at maybe 11, I HAVE to go through ballet. Last class was a big mess for me, because i was still slightly sick, so not only my body didn't have the strength to take me far, my mind was kind of droopy and not working very fast on the signals i was trying. 

My mind has been on holiday for the past 2 weeks, even though my body has had to carry on with it.
I have never been more scared for ballet class in my whole life. I have never prayed more before a ballet class. I was fearing that I would have no control of my body on tuesday. Even more scared, because I haven't had the time to go through ballet for long in the last couple of days. My work in meisner has taken up a lot of the time after school. I have ended my days at 12 or 1. woken up at 6. That's how far I can stretch it - but I am exhauuusted. I have been missing hours of sleep for two weeks, and now I just need two weeks on break!

*

- I was just distracted for a moment by my class mate, Teresa, who just did an extraordinary performance with fantastic belting. So talented.
It reminded me of when I worked with 'I am changing', from the musical Dreamgirls, back home with my private singing teacher.
I remember feeling proud of being able to hit all the same notes as Jennifer Hudson as a 14-year old.
It's been so long ago, since I sang the big belt number - those big ballads.

Ever since I came to this school, I've sung mostly legit songs - from all the classical musicals. Songs like 'Somewhere' form West Side Story, 'I have to tell you' from Fanny!, 'Before I gaze at you again' from Camelot, 'Something Wonderful' from the King and I, and 'I'll know' from Guys and Dolls ... and then modern musical numbers too, but still with a classical technique - like 'Wishing you were somehow here again' from Phantom of the Opera and 'In my life' from Les Miserables.

These are the type of songs I've been assigned, and it seems that I've always played the fragile and innocent young girls.

I haven't shown the side of me that can sing 'I will always love you' at the top of my lungs or hold the long note in 'Defying gravity' from Wicked.

But starting with today - where I am singing a comedy song as a slightly dumb character - I think I have really started to show my multicolored coat ;)

*

I have never needed a holiday more in my life, truly. I am almost thinking I might collapse on the bed and cry my stress out the minute I get back from my last class of this semester. Wow! some months. It is so strange for me to be at this state, looking back and evaluating my first semester. I have seriously not had the time do that before now.
There's not any more space in my mind..!
Anyhow, I will get back on that evaluation once I am actually done with this school week ;)

I am leaving Manhattan to go to my home on Long Island friday afternoon - once I've cleaned, prepped things for my second semester and gone christmas shopping. For the first time, I will have a weekend of doing NOTHING! Just treasuring the time with family, is all I need. And I will do that for 4 days.
Then I leave Monday for Michigan to see Bekah!!
Oh boy, that will just be incredible. I don't think I have fully understood how precious meeting up with my best friend aft ernot seeing her for 7 years will be like.

I am, again.. about to fall asleep in the subway. time is 4pm.
heading to times sqaure, hoping to get tickets for twelfth night. then back at school till 7. then show till 11pm. then collapse on my bed. then early up in the morning to prepare 2 songs for that afternoon's class. then.... arrrh.:)

Today we sang a Christmas song in our showcase class. 
check out the video on facebook :) here is the link :) The Christmas song.