You have so grown.... up

I am sitting on my roof top, trying to recall the last week... or rather trying to figure out how to relive the last couple of weeks in writing.
There's been too many things I wanted to tell you about, I have just not had the free time to do so. But now, Sunday night - I have decided that my blog is such an important part of me, that I simply need to make the time.

Here on the roof top, as I think over my weeks, a sentence keeps flowing through my mind.
I am stuck on it, I don't know where it comes from. My mind keeps saying: "You have so grown".
And when I'd accepted that thought, I realized what I really headed towards saying was... "You have so grown up".
That's how I'd like to summarize my last couple of weeks.

.. Okay, so maybe nobody really grows up. I'd like to think that, because every grown up still has the fragile child inside of them.
But if there ever comes a point in life, where you 'grow up'. - I consider myself to have reached that point.

But being a grown up is not the finish line.
Far from that. It may in fact be acknowledging you are not as complete as you thought you as a teenager thought you headed towards being.
Being a grown up is the first step to understanding what life is.

"One step forward each day"

Here's my new motto: "One step forward each day".
It's all anyone can ever ask you to do. So I need to give myself this human reminder every time I walk in and out of my door.

I also like to think that no-one chooses to grow up.
You're born as an innocent and vulnerable baby. As you grow older, you get scars from what happens around you. No baby goes through life without falling. If that was so, we'd have 50-year old babies!
But it's not possible. Not human.

You grow up because you have to. You have to be able to take care of yourself. When no-one else can or you're too far away from them or when people pass away.
You know you have to grow up when you understand that you'd fall if you didn't.
You know you are grown up, when you alone have prevented yourself from falling.

So no, I didn't choose to grow up.
My family knows more than anyone that I will always be the grown up who wants to have fairy tales read for bedtime, watch Disney movies and climb trees in the forest.
For crying out loud; I spend my life pretending I'm a mermaid, singing 'Part of your world'.
It's just who I am! And thank God for that.

*

Right now, I am sitting in a super nice cafe, writing on my blog with a cup of peppermint tea. The roof top got too dark and cold, as the sun had finally set.

This is so cozy! I have not treated myself in this way since I came, so I think it was about time. This is my recharge of - not just the day -, but the week. There isn't much time for recharge in the weekdays, so I always have to remember to be good to myself and relax in the weekend as much as I can, - and that recharge should hopefully last as far into the week as possible.

First of all my recharge with the Wittenbergs always means a lot to me. I stayed two nights with them last weekend. Here they are in the cozy place!

Downstairs on the couch.

TV shows run all evening, they each have their favorite shows they follow.

I'd like to say that Phil is asleep, that would've been funny

.. but really I just think the flash went in his eyes!

..and then there's Niya, the dog, who never misses some cuddling.

Jake by his big apple.

My uncle Lars from Denmark was in the city to run the New York Marathon! We met so I could get some things my mum had sent with him. My big woolen blanket and some woolen cozy socks! The same night my uncle, Josephine and I went out to dinner on a delicious Italian restaurant in Greenwich village. The meal was incredible! I have not had such a good meal in a long time..
Look!

Starter: Mango/strawberry salad with goat cheese.

Fish with different mussels.

It tasted of Portugal.

Me and Josephine

The same week I got a chance to capture a priceless view! It is only once a week I get back from school before dark, so this is always one of the things I hope to see.:

South (towards my school at Battery Park)

North (towards Times Square and Central Park)

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This past week has in a way been one of the most extreme weeks.
To be honest, there's been a part of me that didn't want to talk about the challenges I've met, because I haven't felt like that was a valid enough story for my blog.

I mentioned this to Susan, but then she reminded me of how many people follow my blog, despite the fact that I share my struggles too. When I checked my blog, and the statistics showed that my blog had been viewed 3.500 times so far, I guess it confirmed what she said...
And my friends from back home also tell me that they don't just want to hear about the ups, but the downs too - as long as they hear from me!

- I guess I have waited for the time I could write about a phenomenal story about success and shine. That's what people would like to hear. Isn't it?
.. but maybe I will be the first to tell them that being a lucky girl attending one of the world's finest elite schools is not all success and shine. It's challenge and development.

It is truly freaking hard work!
The most ironic thing is that just when I've managed to go through the week, proudly with straight A's for my midterm exams - but with little sleep and much coffee - , the next week begins!

But despite the hard work, I have given myself longer days to be able to let go a little more and recharge.
There has been quite a few recharge moments this week. So part of the reason I let myself live on coffee for some time, was to avoid always saying no to time hanging out with friends, late nights to Broadway shows, and having long talks on the phone with best friends across the world.

It has been good to give myself that time, but less good to go to bed at 2 am every night... only sleeping 4 hours.

So by the end of this week my head was about to explode, and I had a minor breakdown.
I'd like to offer a peak at my calender:

This is evidence of how busy and long the day had been

- the page had fallen out, from being looked at so much!

But - not doing much this weekend has been a blessing. I managed to finish writing the script for the children's Christmas play in the Salvation Army, go through most of my hmw for next week, have long talks with both the family here and back home.

For next week, I think I will be experimenting how well I can get through the week without exercising till the extreme every day and knowing everything about everything for each class. But I am aware this might be just as difficult for me, since I am a perfectionist in my work.

Take a look at some of the wonderful recharges I had this week: 

1.) Monday night, Josephine, the girl from the Salvation Army in Denmark and her friend from the army, invited me over for homemade pizza - and I spontaneously went. ;) 

The girls had prepared the pizza for me

and set the whole table!

Oh, I've missed licorice!

Yummy! - why do'ya think i'm hiding

my tummy underneath the table? ;)

The best part of the night was dancing like mad kids to Christmas songs. We had Christmas tea, chocolate, Danish sweets, homemade cookies and we played Ukranian Uno.
My stomach was about to explode. But that's the great thing about not letting you eat candy like mad a few times a year!
At 10 pm I started feeling bad about not going through my ballet routine for the ext day and working out.. so Josephine went with me to the corps in her building, and we danced ballet together. I also got a chance to show her my dance 'Be born in me', which is a Christmas dance I choreographed for the first Sunday in advent at Hempstead Citadel corps on Long Island, the weekend my mum comes (in 2 weeks)! Unbelievable I'll soon see mum here. <3

2.) Tuesday night, I went to see the jukebox musical 'Jersey Boys' with Phil Wittenberg. It was such a party, and the songs were great. Phil loves that music and has grown up with it, so if I thought it was great, he must have loved hearing his favorite hits 10 x more!

Me and Phil in front of the August Wilson theater

- Broadway

The fact that it's a jukebox musical means that the show has come to form out of the songs, so the music comes before the story. You mainly go to see a jukebox musical to hear the songs, not to be swept into a fiction story.. which is what I love, so I wasn't blown away by Jersey boys.

When I sit in the audience, I love to be a part a good theme with a great story that has complicated obstacles and lots of character development... and most of all, something I can relate to.

So for that reason, I wasn't as engaged as I was when I saw Cinderella last week for instance.
I thought the setting was a bit weird sometimes. Sometimes I didn't see the reason for some of the scenography they displayed. I think the decisions about what message they'd like to send across to the audience were weak.
But it was great fun. - And best of all, I used my awesome student rush tickets skills, and got ourselves first row seats for $27!!

Our seats. First row. Feet literally touching the stage.

#toowild #broadwayfirstrow #lucky #awesomestudentrushtickets

^Like the hash tag? I'm going the American way!.. lol kidding, may I never use hash tag again in this blog!

Moving on...
3.) Wednesday night I went to hear my teacher, who was performing a Cabaret show in a jazz lounge. I had such an amazing night, and she was such an entertainer. She had a star song, where she mixed between singing opera and jazz, like with a difference of 2 octaves. She also competed with the trumpet player, singing exactly what he played. It was phenominal.
But what I loved most of all is this - that my teacher was vulnerable onstage. Not that it was comforting to see her nervous. But I thought it was wonderful to experience the fact that all out teachers are vulnerable artists like us students.
It draws everyone at my school nearer in a very special connection, that no other schools have.
While I was listening to my teacher sing out her soul, I was thinking about the fact that most 'grown ups' have grown to hide the fragile child inside of them. But not the grown ups at my school. ;)
I can't wait to continually learn from all of them.

Rosemary, my teacher - isn't she gorgeous?

4.) Thursday night - WAIT FOR IT - I saw Pippin!! I have no words. Okay, yes I do.. I have a lot of amazing words.. which will come to me in the next line or so, when I know how to best describe it!
First of all, the poster everywhere on Times Square advertise for Pippin as being 'the Best currently running musical on Broadway'!
So - the setting was amazing, the cast gave so much energy, the choreography was fabulous! I didn't know the story until I read the synopsis the same night, and heard a few of the songs. The composer is Stephen Schwartz, who also wrote Wicked. Pippin was one of his first shows, which came out in 1972.
This Broadway revival won several Tony awards (the American live theater award), including best musical ;)

The story takes place in a circus, therefore the people onstage are not only dancers, but acrobats too. And this cast was amazingly talented. I was thrilled to see some crazy talented acrobats, and not just actors pretending to be acrobats.

I felt the visual effects was the most amazing thing about the show - by that I mean both the material things and the choreography.
The dance was a dark jazzy Fosse style. (You need to know who the father of modern jazz dance was, link to - Bob Fosse!! He was the first and so far the last who was a triplethread winner of awards in a year. He won an Oscar, Emmy and Tony for his directing work of the musical Cabaret.)

BUT the show was just so 'mindblowingy' amazing, because on top of the visual greatness, the story was just so amazing. The actors were all so talented and unique. They each had a strong story, - there was no feeling of 'second characters'. There were some really funny characters, in the midst of the serious journey the protagonist was on.

The ending was beautiful. It's one of those shows you can't imagine being built up in a better way. It had a great message suitable for all ages, and... I don't know what to say, it was just AMAZING.   

And here's the deal - I don't want to spoil anything about the story for my American friends who I know read the blog. All I have to say is GO SEE IT!

(turns out there were empty seats

on the balcony center, which I moved to!)

5.) Friday after school. Last but definitely not least, the preparations for the Christmas play with the children in the Salvation Army began. From the moment I had the actual script in my hands, the children were so eager to begin, that it was almost too good to be true.
I have almost all my roles covered, I have arranged the music and started working on the choreography. There will be a girls' lyrical ballet piece to 'This little light of mine'. That's just a part of it. I have very high hopes. . . for these next 5 weeks that we have.

I will be taking an extra day of work with them, so I attend every Tuesday and Friday
(did I not just say earlier on in this update that I'd try to cut down on the schedule and get more sleep??).. but I am sure it will be worth it when I see the finished product of the play with my talented kids on the 17th of December.
Those of you who are in the States - or is out of their mind enough to fly over here - please come and see it! These kids need support.

Here is a scene from the play, for your sneak preview ;)

Scene 3 (The angels visit Mary and Joseph):

(Both angels are standing on the floor in front of stage)

Angel 1 - Joseph and Mary were two people much in love. They were going to marry in their small town and spend the rest of their lives carpenting and potting. (Joseph and Mary are onstage. Joseph is hammering a bench together and Mary is forming a bowl)

Angel 2 - But God sent us to visit them with a message, and that day all their plans changed.

Joseph - I have a funny joke! What stays in the corner, but travels all over the world?

Mary - I don’t know.

Joseph - A stamp.

Mary (laughs) - Oh, Joseph you’re so funny.

Joseph - Let me think of another one.

Mary - (hesitating, interrupting his thoughts) ...Joseph, have you ever thought that we might stay in this town for the rest for our lives?

Joseph - This is where our lives is. Could you ever imagine leaving Nazareth?

Mary - I guess not.

Joseph - I’ve have to go get some more nails for this bench. I’ll be right back.

(Mary is left onstage alone, just carrying on with her potting. All the while, the angels have been sitting on the staircase, watching Joseph and Mary.)

Angel 1 - (turns to audience) This is where we visit Mary

Angel 2 - (to angel 1) We should remember to tell the audience not to be afraid when Mary screams. We’re not doing her any harm.

(Angels light a starcatcher i each of their hands, and emerge the stage)

Angel 1 - Mary.

Mary - (screams for her life, and runs to the other side of the room)

Angel 2 - (whispers to angel 1) I’ve never understood why she gets so scared, we look so good.

Angel 1 - Maybe she’s afraid of the fire?

Angel 2 - Oh, Mary, do not be afraid. We come to you with a message from God.

Mary - From God?

Angel 1 - You may  wanna sit down - this is big!

(Mary looks frazzled, but sits back down on her chair)

(cue to music ‘When christmas comes to town’, the last bit of the song, from where we left it off 1:51)

Angel 2 - You have been blessed with a child. The son of God. You will give birth to him, and he will become our King.

(Mary stands up, in shock, walking around the room)

Mary - (Turns around) Me?

Both angels - (big smile, nodding) YES!

Short choreography with Mary and the Angels, worshiping and dancing together

Mary (suddenly stops and looks very serious - shouting) - I don’t think I can do it. (Mary faints)

- BLACKOUT -

*

6.) Saturday I went out to dinner with Michael who is in NY for a photographer's course. We had a delicious Mexican meal. The same morning, when I had my private lesson, he joined me and took tons of pictures of me singing, and later dancing in my ballet room.
He will edit them when he returns to Denmark .. and I so can't wait to share them with you - for you to see me in class and see what the place looks like!
Michael had a whole suitcase full of my winter's clothes, boots, scarfs, glove + hat, jacket and my duvet! No more American style sleeping under thin covers!! I got several jumpers from my grandma too - so I've been carrying her smell around for the past few days. Somewhat wonderful, but also difficult..

Back to now. Sunday evening.
Right now in the cafe, the song 'It's a sin' by Pet Shop Boys starts playing on the radio.
Funny coinsidence.. For a second, I stop the writing and draw my thoughts back on the 8th of September.
I have to swallow a great lump in my throat. And I feel a bit weird.. this is the song my grandma wanted us to play at her funeral.
I have never understood the song, and why she liked it so much.
It says that everyone is a sinner. In whatever you do, whatever you wish or pursue; you sin. - Especially my grandma was known for her big heart and setting others before herself. It makes me sad that she thought of herself so much as a sinner. The woman who was told by her own mum that she was an unwanted child, that she wasted her life when she didn't complete school (because she had to work full time for her widowed mum for financial support).
Oh well..

*

This is what you get for banning yourself from drinking coffee, after living on it for a week - it's precisely 7 pm and my head almost fell into the keyboard on my computer from falling asleep for a second in the middle of the cafe.
- I also realize that I am starving, so I will head back to the Markle now to eat the food I kept in my fridge from lunch.
YES! that's right, I did say fridge!!
I got a fridge, yay! I got a perfect little fridge for free, from the leftover ones the residence apparently had in the basement.
Now I can have yogurts and milk for my coffee (oops there we go again!:/...). But most importantly, I can keep my lunch refrigerated, so I don't have to eat something that's 24 hours old!

I have to stop for today! It's getting late, and I promised myself more sleep.
Just know that next time I write, you will see much more of my school and work!

I might also tell you about the day it was snowing, my Cabaret class, my end of semester Showcase and my latest Shakespeare class!

One last thing! - THANK YOU so much for all the letters and packages I found in my mail box! To Clara, Mum, Mormor and morfar, Eva Maria, Farfar and Dad! You know how much I love handwritten letters, so I really loved recieving some. I have sent out replies this weekend ;)

Preview to themes for the following posts:

Shakespeare monologues

Cabaret theme for Kristy Cates' class!

My great class!

*

Sometimes I forget where I am, and how extraordinary a city is before my feet. This was from this evening, not long before sunset:

This is where Empire state building was supposed to be.

In short, this is what Manhattan looks like today!

Ola Broadway, touching the tip of my nose!

So in the next couple of days I will publish a special post for you with pictures, sound and videos from my work. I have lots of recordings on the computer, videos from the work in class and I had professional pictures taken in my private singing lesson and dancing. Yay! I have wanted to share it long before now, but I have needed to figure out how to upload videos.

...No excuse is good enough - of course you need to see my work! And I can't wait to show you how much progress I've made.. and for those of you who've never seen much of my work, to actually show you a bit of my performance for the first time :)

Goodbye until tomorrow - or the near future ;)

X