Walking to school with snot drifting down my face a fever and soar throat. Rehearsals and prep to school ran till 12 last night, and I was already feeling a bit miserable with a fragile voice. I think I was too hard on my voice yesterday. We went through the first scene I'm in. Choreography by Chad, man he is just so talented, it's incredible.
I had rehearsals again this Saturday. I am still sick. I had to go midday Friday to recover for the evening rehearsal. It is exciting to be there, but not very fun when your body won't allow you to do so.
By the end of the day I felt a slight dizziness, and even though I didn't exactly have a high fever, I knew my weekend should be all about resting.
Funny, but not so awesome detail. ..I to have a wisdom tooth growing out. And it may sound like a minor detail, but man that is real pain. I can't eat things that needs to be chewed thoroughly and I can't sleep on my right side of the face. It really hurts!
.. ok I realize that I am just talking about details of no interest. Now that it is actually my homework to blog everyday, I might add well focus on saying something with true meaning.
Truth is.
I am not only sick, but I have been struggling with resistance for several weeks now. Which means I lack the energy and enthusiasm to do something. Well, not something. . But intense practise and a positive mind.
I have hated not wanting much more than b just my bed at night. I'm sorry, but with days starting at 6 and coming home at 11pm, it is so difficult to want to workout, read homework and do vocal exercises. I know it sounds silly, because of course that time is meant for sleeping... But no. In the world of performing arts sleep is such an important thing, but it doesn't come before practise. I don't become a better ballet dancer by just attending the classes, I have to go through the exercises at home. And no I'm not just a perfectionist.if I want to look good at the bar, I need to make my ankles stronger, nevertheless work out to sustain the muscles and build a strong dancers core.
So I have fallen out of dance a little. Well, nor fallen, just not grown as much. I could have grown more. I just haven't had the right mind for it.
I am so tired the whole time. I hate it, but I am.
It's funny, I was talking to a friend at breakfast a few days ago, and I said I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a day where I didn't always need more rest. Just waking up one day and not being able to sleep more or not being tired in the middle of the day -things I can't even imagine. Like seriously, I can't imagine waking up on a day off and having the energy to tourist Ny for the day.
Every Sunday I wake up around 8 maybe 9 if I'm lucky. .I still have tried to get at least 8 hours pod sleep that night... then I'll go to breakfast, dress, go to church.. and almost fall asleep at church, go back for lunch, collapse in my room and take a nap.
What?
- No energy, it's just like a circle of only sleep. All it takes is 2 hours away fun home, only around the block, and I could sleep for hours more!
I think that's scary.
Actually now when I think of it, I should embrace being sick right now. I slept all Friday. Then rehearsal at 7. Slept all Saturday, then rehearsal at 3pm. And went back to bed to lie in bed.
Tomorrow sleep, church, drama bookshop, sleep, last bit of homework, Watch a regional play in the city. . Then freaking sleep more!!!
All I'm waiting for is a contrast from this low.
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