Easter with my grandparents and soldier enrollment ♡

I am currently staying at the Williams residence on 96th street, to be with my grandparents in the morning and evenings before and late after school. It's lovely being with them and coming home to warm milk and a night prayer with company before ending the day :)

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I am at school thirty minutes before morning class, and it is  very peaceful looking out the window through the mist. Boats just gently flying, living their own life away fun the ground I'm standing on. It's like another world, looking out on the river.

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I love this (something I read in the bible this afternoon); "I earnestly search for you, my soul thirsts for you, my whole body longs for you."
I have started wondering if God is found in the things that he wants us to do, meaning if we go the way he has planned for us, we will feel him nearer..

I have been wondering if this is dance for me, because I haven't been dancing as much as I usually do lately. There hasn't been the time and energy.
Maybe my relationship with him is connected to my relationship with my dancing.
Does that make sense?

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Saturday after my rehearsal we ate out at place called American diner.

Very American. Very sweet. I loved the place, and the food was awesome. I had a salmon burger, very delichhh! It made me happy that there are tiny cheap places in other taste and style than McDonald's. This place was just as cheap but 5 gazillion times more healthy.

After this we took the train to Long Island. We were staying the night before my enrollment on Easter Sunday, so we wouldn't have to get a train arriving in time for the sunrise worship meeting at 7:30!! Yieks... but don't worry I made it ;)
Butterflies in the tummy always help.

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Wow - and then the day came, the day I had been waiting for, for so long!
It was incredibly special to have my grandparents there, and to be enrolled by The Wittenbergs. The 4 people who have inspired me mostly in my faith. Well, Farmor is my 5th. But she was in the room too, I'm sure.

In the car on our way to church

Easter lilies

Breakfast at the corps before my enrollment

At last officially in uniform

Beautiful Easter weather outside after church

..... I had this huge lump in my chest of pure sobbing that waited to creep out. Just of overwhelmingness and happiness and relief.. but if I let it out in front of the 200 people who sat there watching in church, it would be an ugly scene!..

The full meeting and my enrollment from Easter Sunday is filmed and uploaded and can be found on youtube, here: Jasmin's soldier enrolment

This song text below was my testimony. Written and composed by me for the occasion. This performance can be found on the link I copied to youtube. :)

The best part of my life

You see what I've done,

What I'm trying to become, 

I try with all my heart, 

Thinking I'm so smart

But if I take a step back and look at what you do,

I see the best part of my life is you.

Thought I alone was strong,

Till life just proved me wrong,

But then you carried me home

Bethlehem was in my soul,

Unfailing nearness was my goal,

You said you'd never let go,

or dare to say no

So if I take a step back and look at what you do,

I see the best part of my life is you.

Nothing can be found,

Nothing can be found

- without you

Now I'm stronger once again,

Funny - I hardly acknowledge when,

Yet I forget to be filled by you,

I can't believe that's true

Now I'll always take a step back and look at what you do,

I'll see the best part of my life is you.

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At the time of prayer, I went up by the altar and knelt to pray. Susan came up and joined me in prayer, and at some point a little girl from the church, Misharleen budged her way in between me and Susan, and she held us close and dearly, praying - what seemed like - the most devoted of us all three.
Misharleen doesn't know me that well. She has seen me dance, and was fascinated by it. I think she thinks I'm special and nice, but other than that she has no reason to trust me. Anyhow, she held my arm tight and prayed for me.

Thinking about it over again now, I know why she did that.
- This is a very special story: for my musical, Spring awakening, I recently sat interpreting the closing song,'The Song of purple summer'.
By the end of the show you've seen how this generation of children has been abused, mistreated, unheard, and challenged.. And my character is like an angel who turns to the audience and says "Listen to what's in the heart of a child, a song so big in one so small. .."

".. And heaven waits, so close it seems. . To show her child the wonders of a world beyond her dreams"

And this is like a prophet speaking to the parents and all the children on earth who think they're unseen.
So my deeper interpretation of this is that children is the closest thing we'll come to God, because they're pure and innocent and yet unbruised, so if we listen and open our hearts towards them, it is like a gateway to heaven.
But the play is melancholic and tough because these children knew of pain and were taken our of their happiness and purity long before they were supposed to.
So I know Misharleen, the little girl, was the hand of that heavenly purity this morning. Very special.
..... And funny enough, being so integrated in this theme these days there was a moment of melancholy when the kids sang upstairs. So beautiful and pure and untouched of the world, you know? So weird thinking that was us one time. . What feels like long ago. But so beautiful to watch. I am starting to understand why parents and just adults in general tear up so easily over tiny presentations.

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After the meeting we celebrated with Easter dinner, which was Susan's delicious food.

I found my favorite of the Wittenberg production: pasta with eggs, cottage cheese, milk cinnamon and raisins. .. at least I think that's right. But interesting, right? I would never have thought of mixing those in a dish, but it was one of the best things I've ever had. Reminds me of the apple/cinnamon/nut dish from the Jewish meal Thursday before Easter Sunday. That was always my favorite of my mom's.

.. And we of course celebrated by just being together.

It was so special sharing my family again with my life in America. It is a very special thing joining people you love. Really. I hope my dad or some of my siblings can come soon.

If you came, Catarina, I would stretch with you in the morning, get you the best freshly made green juice in the city, sit with you by the fountain in the middle of Lincoln Center the whole afternoon drawing and reading stories, take you to a ballet class in New York City, go swimming and return to Lincoln Center in the evening for a ballet performance.

If you came, Dad, I would run through Central Park in the morning with you and take pictures from my roof top at sunrise, go to the Botanical gardens in Brooklyn, spend the rest of the afternoon in museums - especially by our forefather's painting at the Met, have dinner at Max Brenner's - the chocolate restaurant and see a Puccini opera at Met Opera in the evening.

If you came, Zaka, I would take a long cozy morning in my room with tea, walk through Greenwich village getting a Starbucks and seeing the Friend's building, go to Central Park zoo, get a large Italian or Mexican dinner with 3 courses - lots of meat and lots of rich dessert, then find a skyscraper to climb all the stairs in .. perhaps the empire state building or Rockerfeller center (I know we would find our way in) and then finish the day with going to the movie theatre or just seeing a bunch in my room.

If you came, Franni, I would walk up Broadway with you chatting and stopping for coffee by every new Starbucks we passed, I would take you to Barnes and Nobles and antique book stores, I would show you my school and arrange for you to meet some students studying photography, the late afternoon would be spent on bike around Central Park, we would get a good and healthy burger in the city close to Times square by all the lights and then find a cafe with tables outside late evening.

If you came, Clara, I would let you sleep till your newly found teenage soul woke you up.. and then bring you breakfast in bed with fresh berries, American pancakes with bananas and walnuts and a smoothie, then we would hurry to Times square and I'd show you all the theatres, we would eat a quick sandwich, so we could stand by the stage doors when the actors came out from their performances, we would window shop on 5th avenue, sit on a bench and people watch, later find a spot in Central Park by the lake to imitate them and make drama sketches for each other, in the evening I'd take you to Pippin and by the end of the day we'd spoon each other in my bed, gossiping and joking all night long.

Let's wait and see. Maybe either of those days will be fulfilled!
Goodnight to you all.
My love, X